


If you'll be my star,  I'll be your sky.

by WordsByMarcy



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Don't copy to another site, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Reunion, Romance, they're pining hard my dudes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:42:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24362995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WordsByMarcy/pseuds/WordsByMarcy
Summary: With Gon, love is the easiest thing to feel, and the hardest thing to say.- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -“Killua! Alluka!”That voice was always able to elicit a lifetime of emotions in just a simple second.That voice that belongs to the teenage boy that’s running full speed towards them. A voice that sounds as clear as water after all these years of hearing it muffled through the phone. A voice that burns as bright as the fire his love is made from.Gon’s voice.It’s Gon.He’s still far away, but it could only be him. Killua knows because his name only sounded different when Gon said it.
Relationships: Gon Freecs & Killua Zoldyck, Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck
Comments: 41
Kudos: 117





	1. I live to let you shine.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kittycats](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittycats/gifts).



> I was suddenly hit by the feels.
> 
> The title comes from Gregory and the Hawk's song [**"Boats & Birds."**](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ge3cf-AEZEs) The song inspired me to write, so this fic is gifted to my amazing friend Kazama who introduced me to the song. Thank you Kazama for always helping me! You're a peach <3

** If you'll be my star, I'll be your sky. **

_Chapter -1-_

_I live to let you shine._

* * *

_Love is strange,_ Killua thinks.

A quiet sigh is heard through the night as Killua gently flickers off the lights to his room. A small window is the only source of light, as Doli City lets itself be slowly embraced by dusk. Killua turns around to walk towards his bed — and is not surprised when he sees Gon sleeping on it. 

Gon’s chest is gently rising and falling. _Steady._ Like the waves surrounding Whale Island.

_Love is strange —_ Killua repeats, crouching beside the bed, his face landing right in front of his sleeping best friend. 

_Love is a pitch-black room lit up by a single candle_.

Killua takes in Gon’s peaceful features; eyelids fluttered closed and quiet breaths escaping his parted lips.

_Love is how cold hands yearn for the bonfire’s warmth._

Killua gently raises his right hand to softly stroke Gon’s cheek — and then stops midway once he realizes what he’s doing, his hand dropping on the mattress, right next to Gon’s. 

_Love’s a flame, bright and full of life, its heat melting ice barriers Killua built around his heart._

Gon lets out a soft and silly snore that almost makes Killua chuckle.

_Love is the slow waltz of the lonely fire. Always able to bring warmth — always needed, and always wanted. Until –_ Gon’s hand jerks in response to a dream, his bronze skin abruptly grazing Killua’s pale hands — _the fire becomes too big to keep alive._ Killua’s heart races at the slight contact, suddenly remembering previous events on NGL.

_"I never knew how frustrating weakness could be,"_ is what Gon told him, tears rolling down his face, a weeping sky begging to be held.

Killua sighs, a heartbroken smile painting his delicate features. 

_Love’s the burn the fire left after it’s extinguished._

_B_ _ut Killua wants to burn with the fire until there’s nothing but scattered ashes on the ground._

Past events fly around his mind, a speed run through their short, yet eventful, journey. 

_Killua will stay, even if the flame dances its way to uncontrollable — because he knows how lonely the fire’s been._

Killua’s fingers twitch with a desire to hold Gon’s hand. To know if his fingers are as rough as his. To know if his childhood’s also been imprinted on his skin. To know if he’ll uncover more secrets with a trace of his fingertips.

And Killua wants to stay. 

_He really does._

Gon’s face morphs into a charming pout, the crinkle between his brows so endearing that Killua has to stand up and look away. 

_If only the fire didn’t burn so brightly that it hurt._

Killua smiles weakly at the ground. Wavering. The corner of his mouth crooked with regret.

_My hands are too small to hold that heart of yours._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it says reunion on the tags! But that will be the last chapter!


	2. My sea rises to the beat of your volcano.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time for Gon to pine!

** If you'll be my star, I'll be your sky. **

_Chapter -2-_

_My sea rises to the beat of your volcano._

* * *

_Love is strange,_ Gon thinks. 

Birds are chirping in sync on the background just as Gon takes his everyday path through Whale Island.

He runs on the edge of the wall that fences around numerous homes. He then leaps through various trees and rocks, leaves casting shadows from the sunlight they block. And as he walks around the seashore, cornflowers tightly gripped in his right hand, he’s surprised to find a small milk conch shell on the sand — the color so familiar it interrupts the rhythmic beating of his heart.

_Love is strange —_ Gon repeats, as he grabs the shell with his left hand and tucks it inside his pocket.

To keep it safe. _To keep it warm._

He finally stops at a cliff that dangerously screams the name of the person he misses most. He gently lays the cornflowers on the ground, brilliant violet and blue colors reminding him of adventures he no longer has. And as he pockets the conch shell inside his pants, he remembers the last time he saw cerulean eyes. 

_Love is how the earth begs the moon to stay._

“I want to go with you, but I have to watch Alluka,” is what Killua told him as Gon swallowed his selfish thoughts. 

_Love’s the fireflies that come out in the dark to brighten up the night, just like the moon’s light._

“Kite said that no matter where we go, we’ll always be friends!”

_Love is the distance between the earth and the moon. Always facing each other, but too far apart to touch, to see. To truly know how love feels._

Gon finally pulls out the conch shell from his pants, his fingertips tracing every bump and curve it has — eyes roaming around the milky white’s; and Gon loses himself as he’s reminded of Killua’s skin, pale and rough like this shell, revealing stories that his lips won’t tell. 

Gon has to take a deep breath to keep himself in check, to stop this yearning from rolling down his cheeks.

Because ever since he left Killua, time seemed to stop, a constant loop of daylight. _The earth burned for endless hours under the sun’s rays, his sky weeping just to see the moon again. Silently begging for nighttime time to come again._

“It’ll be alright,” Gon lies to himself and the shell.

“It’s fine,” he lets out a shaky breath as his mind goes back to the last _"goodbye"_ that hurt.

_“I promise, I'm worth it,”_ Gon wanted to say. _So badly._

_So please, stay._

But he knew better than that.

_Love is constant, unconditional._

Gon tightly grips the shell in his hands. 

_But love is lonely when the moon’s so far away._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These two chapters are literally just me trying to be emotional HAHHAHA the last chapter will be their reunion! It'll come some time next week! And that chapter will have more dialogue, of course, and more action hehe! Sorry if these two chapters are only me trying to write emotions! It'll get good on the next chapter, promise!


	3. I turn jet black, and you show off your light.

** If you'll be my star, I'll be your sky. **

_Chapter -3-_

_I turn jet black, and you show off your light._

* * *

With Gon, love is the easiest thing to feel, and the hardest thing to say. But Killua hopes, that after all these years, he’ll finally be brave enough to stay. That everything will be alright, even if things fall apart sometimes. That picking up shattered glass doesn’t hurt as much when you’ve got careful hands. That nothing’s truly broken, just morphed into something you have to understand. And that even the brightest source of light can be consumed by darkness. 

_“…Killua…”_

Killua knows that the least he could do is try. Try and walk as equals with Gon, not just admire him from below. 

_“…Killua…”_

To try and see beyond the blinding fire, understand it burns so brightly to conceal it’s loneliness when extinguished.

_“…Killua?”_

And to finally understand how to verbally express this love that’s more than just three words. An emotion that probably carries a meaning too complex to be conveyed through speech or actions. 

But…he’ll still try his best. If only he could just—

“Killua!” 

Killua blinks back into reality, his eyebrow twitching with annoyance. “What?” he hisses. 

“Are you…nervous?”

Killua clicks his tongue, “I’m not nervous,” he mutters.

He hears Alluka chuckle beside him, “Yeah, right.” His sister steps directly in front of him, her movements graceful even as the boat gives an abrupt shake. “You’ve got that face—”

“—What face?” Killua shoots her an irritated look.

“That face,” Alluka extends her arm to poke at his forehead, “the face that says _‘shit, I’m smart—”_

“—don’t curse—”

 _“—But I’m dumb when it comes to love,’ ”_ she finishes with a playful tone, mischievousness morphing its way through all of her features — all except those irises that resembles his. Her eyes spoke differently. _‘Talk to me,’_ they say. 

_She’s worried,_ Killua concludes. 

There’s another sudden shake to the boat as Killua deeply sighs, endearment flooding his eyes despite his sister’s teasing. _He can’t make Alluka worry over this, they’ve already talked about it._

“It’s fine,” Killua smiles down at her, raising his hand to gently pat her head. “It’s like you said earlier, we were born to try—”

“—Even if we fail,” Alluka finishes with a smile. “Running away is for cowards, right?” She shakes her head to free herself from his patting. 

“Right,” Killua lowers his hands while rolling his eyes at the obvious teasing.

He knows he should’ve never opened up about his past issues, _but—_

Alluka's eyes settle with relief, her shoulders relaxing as she shifts back to her previous place beside him. 

_—it was worth it,_ he concludes.

There’s a sudden stop to the boat as the common area’s door opens with brute force, the captain announcing his entrance with a sluggish “we’ve arrived folks!” The room’s filled with mindless chatter as people start moving around to gather their belongings.

It seems they've already arrived to Whale Island, and Killua’s heart does a somersault at those two specific words on his mind. _Whale Island. Shit._ They’ve arrived sooner than he expected. His heart rate continues to increase as he starts to pep talk himself while passengers exit the boat. 

_It’s fine, Killua, he'll be fine. He should be able to move forward after all these years of trying to take care of himself so he could take care of someone else._

Alluka quietly hands him his backpack, observing with interest as Killua mindlessly puts it on while grabbing her hand to walk out of the boat.

_Killua knew he wasn’t done yet, that he wasn’t there yet. There were things he still had to learn. He knew he would still stumble and fall — and would still hurt himself. But he'll keep trying, even if the nightmares still clouded his dreams, morning came, and he will try again. He will try, for Alluka, for Nanika. He will try for Gon, and for himself._

_Dammit,_ he'll try his best to live with Gon in this world.

Killua feels Alluka tug on his hand as she carefully guides him out of the boat, acting like she’s dealing with an emotional younger brother instead of a professional hunter. _And perhaps she is._

 _This will be fine — he’ll be alright._ Killua lets out a shaky breath as he lets Alluka guide them towards their destination. He quickly shakes his head to pump himself up. 

"You're so over the top," Alluka snickers beside him.

"Shut up," Killua mumbles, "It's…been a while since I've been here, that's it."

"That's it?"

"Yeah, that's it."

Alluka shakes her head in disbelief, "You're so full of shit."

Killua frowns, "Hey!" he exclaims. "What did I tell you about cursing?"

"To only do it when adults are around?"

"The opposite Einstein," Killua rolls his eyes.

"There are no adults near us," Alluka points out while dramatically searching around the crowd to prove her point. 

"That is not the point _—_ "

“ _—_ Killua!” a familiar voice suddenly interrupts Killua's _"scolding."_

A _very_ familiar voice.

Well, _shit._

Both him and Alluka look up, and the erratic beating of Killua’s heart stops for only a second. A second that might as well feel like infinity. A second where Killua couldn't tell colors and sounds apart, where he wasn't sure if he was still inside a body anymore. He felt like a bleeding heart at the mercy of his own yearning. Incapable of doing anything else but bleed for love. 

“Killua! Alluka!”

That voice was always able to elicit a lifetime of emotions in just a simple second. 

That voice that belongs to the teenage boy that’s running full speed towards them. A voice that sounds as clear as water after all these years of hearing it muffled through the phone. A voice that burns as bright as the fire his love is made from. 

Gon’s voice. _It’s Gon._

He’s still far away, but it could only be him. Killua knows because his name only sounded different when Gon said it. 

Alluka squeezes his hand, and Killua’s endless second comes to a stop. And now it seems he’s incapable of doing anything else but mentally prepare himself for the impact of Gon’s embrace — _which…never comes._

It appears that Gon, the _stupid idiot,_ got too excited and forgot there were other people around him. 

Pigeons fly away at a sudden shriek caused by Gon bumping into a middle-aged woman carrying two bags of groceries. Half the contents fly across the ground as the woman stumbles and struggles to regain her balance. 

“Oh, god! I’m so sorry,” Gon quickly apologizes while helping her retain her footing. “Let me help you,” he offers once they recover from the impact. Gon crouches towards the ground to gather the scattered items while the unknown woman adjusts her clothing to crouch as well. The people around them continue with their daily activities as Killua snorts at the scene in front of him. 

_Such an idiot,_ Killua smiles endearingly, as he hears the woman give Gon a brief scolding. Alluka chuckles beside him, making him smile down at her. They both exchange looks and wordlessly agree to help the woman out. 

“Always trying to make a grand entrance, huh?” Alluka teases while jogging towards the scene. 

Gon smiles despite himself, “Alluka!” He looks up, “You’ve grown so much! Just give me a second, and I’ll be—” Alluka waves her hand dismissively, arriving just in time to help the poor woman who was about to lose her balance once more. “Let me help,” Alluka offers a hand while the woman smiles at her approvingly.

On the other side, Killua’s picking up fallen apples that rolled the farthest from where they were. He's using part of his shirt as a made up basket while wondering if things turned out better or worse than he expected.

He quietly sighs while balancing the apples with his shirt, thinking about the pros and cons of their _"reunion"_ getting interrupted by Gon's stupidity. Although Killua's sure his own internal struggle might've ruined it as well. So, maybe this turned out to be a good way to reunite? It was certainly a good way to get his feelings under control.

 _Yeah_ , Killua nods to himself, _it's an eventful way to meet with Gon again._ It won't be as awkward as having Gon blabber incoherencies, due to his excitement, while Killua just nods and blushes while understanding nothing. 

With that last thought in mind, Killua finally picks up the last apple and turns around, intending to return them, when he’s suddenly frozen by Gon’s sheepish and apologetic stare.

And _fuck_ awkwardness.

 _This_ is what he was most afraid of.

Being frozen in place. 

Just one look at those sunflower eyes and Killua’s resolve almost shattered to the ground. He felt twelve again, without the knowledge of what love meant. With bruises and cuts on his palms, as he tried to hold the world with his frail hands. As he watched the earth shake with grief, crumble and whimper, slipping between his fingers. His weak fingers, incapable of doing anything but watch the earth fall apart onto the ground. And, Killua could do nothing, he couldn’t help, his weakness wasn’t of any use to Gon—

“Hey,” Gon greets him quietly, suddenly appearing in front of him — older and more beautiful than ever. Warmth and fondness flood his caramel eyes, a look so familiar that is all it takes to bring Killua back to reality. It’s the same look Gon gave him when he promised Killua the world. Or at least that’s how it felt to the younger him when Gon told him they should _“stick together.”_ When Killua had _nothing,_ Gon promised him _everything._ And perhaps that’s why he struggles to see past that blinding light. 

But, _he’ll try._

That’s what he’s been endlessly repeating inside his head. 

So, he swallows the weight of the past and tightly grips the apples in his hands, just to greet him back. 

“Hey,” Killua finally says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo..........I HAD WRITERS BLOCK xD 
> 
> That's why it took so long to update this lil fic :(
> 
> But i was really inspired today and felt like i came with a good lil part and a perfect end to a chapter! So i wanted to upload at least something this week, so instead of 3 chapters, this fic will be 4 chapters !!
> 
> Hope you'll like it:) Thanks again to my peach [**Kazama**](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kazama) for making sure my writing makes sense even though this fic is gifted to them. Kazama's too nice waahhh
> 
> Anyway, next chapter will be the final hehe and i've already written most of the dialogue so let me tell you guys that you're in for a sweet ride !!! Love you all <33


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